I'm back, I'm back...for now.

This week has been amazing, I can't even describe it, even tonight, after someone really offended me and hurt me I was still able to have a good night and I love that.

I aced a Psych test and wrote a great paper, hung out with my friends and discovered that people really do care about me more than I thought they did. 

I'll admit it, tonight I got dressed and went out fully expecting to drink some good drink, get drunk and just "have fun", but as I got to the party something inside of me shifted, that desire went away and I just felt disconnected from the whole situation. I quickly left and walked back to my dorm just as the party was busted. I ended up sitting on the floor in the hall for 2 hours. It was great.

I'm not saying I'll never drink ever again or go to another party, I'm just saying that I'm feeling something different, I'm not sure what it is. But it's not bad.

 I'm also finding that I focus less on myself in recent days and more on building lasting relationships with people I really care about and putting myself out there with no reservations. 

If its meant to be, if its not I'm good. I'm slowly seeing that God has a plan for me and I know that he has put certain people in my life for a reason and I'm so excited to see where he's taking me.

Of course I'm still going to keep wondering when that right guy will walk into my life, or if he's already there, but for now a certain peace has hit me and I no longer feel the need to focus only on that one desire. 

and tomorrow/today I get to go home. and see my turtle and my cat and eat thai food. If only there wasn't this achey feeling in my heart, but its slowly fading...

Longing to be recklessly pursued

but knowing it will be at the right time, when its in Gods hands and in his plan. Its just the waiting thats killer...

"The vision of someone walking across a room and asking me to dance plays over and over in my mind; out of the whole room, I was chosen. I’ll be honest, I’m fifteen… I have crushes… but more than whimsical feelings and fickle emotion, I really do want to be fought for. I long to be recklessly pursued. I’m looking for true love, something honest and untainted, with no hidden agenda but that it wants to chase after me. I love Psalm 45: “Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people and your homeland far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty.” That’s it! That’s what every chick flick revolves around, that’s what every romance novel is written about, those are the exact words that made me want to be a princess when I was younger. The sad reality is, though, that women often aren’t validated and reassured that they’re worth that kind of affection. It scars us in the deepest places and causes us to cover our mouths when we smile and hide who we truly are. But, that’s what I love about Jesus—he’s a husband to the widow, the freer of a captive heart." - Bethany Dillon

The one where I wallow

This sounds ultra pathetic, but how come, I can be surrounded by 100 people at the moment and feel the absolute loneliest I've ever been. This might be the worst feeling ever. 

I'm really ready to be home.

The one where I should take my own advice

Not to brag or anything, but I pride myself on being an expert on relationship advice. No, its not because I carry years of experience dating loads of guys, I just tend to have a good range of knowledge and common sense when it comes to those toughy issues, with friends, guys and parents, but...mostly guys. I'm the girl whos able to give an unbiased opinion on whether she's being the bitch in the relationship, he's being the jerk or if there are really some serious issues going on there. 


However, when it comes to my real, almost non-existent love life, I'm a horrible person. I really am. I do all the things I tell people not to do, I chase after him, I get nervous, I freak out, over-analyze and expect too much from a guy who might not even be interested. and how do I respond to that? I become even more interested. So pretty much, I'm a ridiculous person, who could really use someone with some good ole boy advice, pronto. Especially if you're all into the sappy little details, because I'm sure to give em.

Also, can someone please explain to me how girls express their feelings?! I'm known for for being totally honest, and I really am, I'll tell you like it is, not rudely usually, just tell it! But I can't do it, I can't say how I feel, or even ask the simple question "What are we?!" I just don't see how girls do it....




oh yeah, I've kind of fallen in love with One Tree Hill again, but only the first 4 seasons...the music is just so good.

The start of something new...

You caught me, I am making an High School Musical reference, but it's totally fitting of my first weekend of college life. and so far, its been great! and I can't wait to see what the rest of college has in store for me(like the whole actually taking classes part).

So as the weekend goes, I moved in on Thursday to my cute little dorm room with my roomie Lindsay, who I've mentioned before, because she also has a blog!

We got it all decorated and fixed up, and I must say, it looks really cute. Super simple, but I love it! We just chilled out and went on a Wal-mart run Thursday night, and then Friday night was the best college initiation ever. 

We went to a party at an apartment of one of Lindsays friends, and just hung out playing flip cup and talking. I actually won a Flip Cup elimination tournament, I'm pretty freakin proud of myself. Although, next time I need to remember to eat before I go, because the next day was definitely not as fun as the night before. 

And last night I just hung out with my suite-mates watching movies and talking(and facebook stalking). 

PICTURES:

Room area

(my little desk type area)

(fridge, dresser, Shia....all the necessities)

(my bed, with all my little photos displayed)

(my bed, Lindsay's bed and our cute chair and curtain)

Friday Night Out:

(roomies!)

(new friends, and the bartenders!)

(I vaguely remember this...)

(definitely a very happy Tarver...)

I can't wait to share the rest of my college experience with everyone! 

The one with the 18 hour day

Yesterday I spent the entire day with my best friends doing 3 of my new found favorite obsessions: 

Match.com:

I don't know if I would ever actually make a real profile, but fake profiles are quite fun for simply perusing and finding funny profiles and people we know, I promise, it doesn't sound as bad as it seems. (Plus, it says it "alright to look")

Making Dysfunctional train wreck cakes:

If you can't tell this is our attempt at making an "awesome possum" cake for my friend Maisie's early 18th birthday. The cake was dyed red to look like blood, but as the cake fell apart, it began to look even more gross. But it ended up tasting delicious and looking kind of adorable.

PS I Love You:

I had never actually seen the movie before, but I'd definitely heard about it, that it was the saddest movie ever, and that I would ball my eyes out. To my surprise, and I think my friends too, I didn't cry one bit, and I usually cry at everything, I mean  everything! Maybe it was like opposite hormones or the fact that I wasn't by myself or in the dark, but I didn't cry. (Don't hate me for it) I did like it though, just not Hilary Swanks acting, or her outfits.

Overall my weekend was really good, and it should've been filled with more packing, but I'll get to it, eventually. But in just 2 days, my best friend, Christine, leaves Macon for UGA to rush a sorority, because she's cool like that.(Plus, she has a blog!)

And then in THREE days, I move out, and it couldn't come fast enough. 

Fill in the Blanks!

Fill in the blanks Friday: Foodie Edition

1.  Today for breakfast I ate       technically, nothing. Although on the way out the door around 11 I ate some ritz crackers and orange juice.

2.  My go to/never fail recipe      lemon and rosemary roasted chicken, its just so easy and delicious.

3.  Something I eat that other people think is weird is       I don't really eat weird things, but I eat stuff oddly. I always have a "best bite", something on my plate that I save for the very end just to round it all out. Don't ever steal my last bite.

4.  My worst cooking disaster ever was       I ruined a pot of green beans so bad one thanksgiving, it was terrible.

5.  If I could only eat one flavor of ice cream the rest of my life it would be     rainbow sherbet, it is absolute perfection.

6.  One food I hate and avoid at all costs is       a dish my grandma makes call "aspic" pronounced: "ASS-PICK" and yes, I'm totally serious. Its like tomato jello with okra, olives and green onions. It is absolutely disgusting, and the name is so fitting.

7.  What is your favorite meal?  Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?      Lunch! I've recently discovered the joys of going out to lunch with friends(singular or plural). It really is the perfect time to enjoy someone else's company, and most of the time I end up sitting and talking with them for hours!      .

Now onto today:

Today my mom and I made a little trek out to Warner Robins(a nearby town) to eat at our favorite Thai restaurant where the heavenly coconut soup is served, but to our surprise, when we arrived, the heavenly Ladda Thai was gone. It was still a Thai restaurant, but it just wasn't the same.

(seriously, the stuff is heavenly)

Oh,and in honor of my favorite cast being split up by dumb CBS and their final day of filming:

(I'm only slightly addicted to Criminal Minds)